In one of the most jaw-dropping headlines of the decade, tech billionaire Elon Musk has reportedly pledged an astronomical $10,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 10 quadrillion dollars) to support Cardinal Robert Prevost in his supposed bid to become the next Pope.
Yes, you read that correctly. Ten. Quadrillion. Dollars.
Divine Disruption?
The announcement came via Musk’s personal X (formerly Twitter) account, where he posted:
“Time for a Pope who understands AI, Mars colonization, and decentralized spirituality. Backing Cardinal Prevost. #Popechain”
The post was followed by a meme of the Vatican launching like a SpaceX rocket, and the phrase: “Holy Launch Sequence Initiated.”
While it’s unclear whether Cardinal Prevost is even a candidate in the next papal conclave (which hasn’t been announced), Musk’s backing has already triggered waves of confusion, amusement, and mild theological panic across social media.
Vatican Responds Politely
A spokesperson for the Vatican issued a brief and diplomatic response:
“The Holy See appreciates Mr. Musk’s enthusiasm for ecclesiastical matters. However, the election of the Roman Pontiff remains a sacred, non-financial process guided by the Holy Spirit.”
Financial Absurdity Meets Faith
For context, Musk’s alleged pledge would exceed the GDP of every country on Earth—by several orders of magnitude. Economists have been quick to point out that $10 quadrillion is not only unspendable, it technically doesn’t exist. One analyst called the move “symbolic insanity,” while another referred to it as “the most expensive tweet in history.”
Why Cardinal Prevost?
Cardinal Robert Prevost, an American-born Vatican official known for his pastoral experience and diplomatic skills, has not made any public statement regarding the matter. Sources close to the Church suggest he was “deeply surprised” by Musk’s tweet and is currently “in silent prayer for clarification.”
Musk’s Real Goal?
Speculation is running wild. Some believe Musk is attempting to bring blockchain voting to the Vatican. Others think it’s an elaborate marketing stunt for a new line of Tesla Vatican Edition EVs. And a few conspiracy theorists are already claiming this is part of Musk’s long-rumored plan to establish the First Church on Mars.
Disclaimer:
This story is entirely fictional and intended for satirical purposes only. Elon Musk has not pledged quadrillions to any Vatican figure, and the Catholic Church’s papal election process remains sacred and strictly internal.
